Anniversaries are, usually, a cause for celebration. But waking up this morning to lockdown turning 1, I was hardly hanging up the balloons. A year ago, I couldn’t have imagined that today we’d be knee deep in a third lockdown. A year before that, even the notion of the pandemic would have seemed unbelievable. Yet, here we are. None of us expected to be in this situation, a whole year on. But while the past 12 months have been, for so many of us, some of the toughest of our lives, we’ve got through them. And that’s something to celebrate. So, today I’m going to look back and focus not on the disruption, the hardship or the loneliness; but on the lessons that lockdown has taught me.
Slow Down
This was less of a lesson from the pandemic and more an order. From the moment we were told to ‘stay at home’, a lot of my life just stopped. My job at the time was in hospitality, so I could no longer work. My life outside of work revolved around my friends and I wouldn’t be seeing them again for a long time. I went from spending all day on my feet, travelling to and from work and seeing people, to spending all day at home.
Even so, I struggled to slow down. Having always tried to cram so much into my life, finding time to just sit and breathe has always been a challenge. Slowly, a year into the pandemic, I’m starting to see the benefits and finding a healthy balance. I spend much longer on my morning routine just because I can. I take time exercising, reading or meditating. A lot of the time my mind is still racing, urgently reminding me of the long to do list awaiting me once I’ve finished my slow start to the day. But I’m learning to tune that out and put my faith in slowing down. Because ultimately, on those days, I end up calmer, happier, and more productive.
Being Alone
Before the pandemic, I always dreaded the thought of being alone for long periods of time. I craved interaction with friends and much preferred a night spent socialising than one sat alone in front of the TV. So, when the first lockdown was announced, I was genuinely terrified. Just staying at home 24/7 – even though I don’t live alone – felt inconceivable.
While it’s not been plain sailing, I’ve been surprised by how much I’ve adapted to spending time alone. And, in fact, loved it. Lockdown has given me time and space to explore interests I’d long been pushing aside and to tune in to how I’m feeling day on day. I’m now much more conscious of when I need time alone. And, when I have to spend a whole day by myself I’m no longer nervous, but excited!
Friends Are Everything
While I’ve enjoyed this new-found alone time, I’ve still longed for time with friends, and struggled with not being able to see them face to face. The past year has made me appreciate the importance of my friendships in a way I don’t think I ever would have otherwise.
I’m acutely aware of how lucky I am to have been living with family throughout the pandemic, and not alone. But I’ve still felt lonely. After each Zoom catch up or phone call with a friend, my mood has completely transformed. Hearing their voices and seeing their faces – albeit through a screen – has brought a sense of normality and reminded me that the parts of my life currently on pause are still there. Even through a computer screen, friendship has healed me. I will never take it for granted again.
It Really Is The Small Things
I’ve always strived (although often failed) to live by the mantra don’t sweat the small stuff. But this year spent in and out of lockdown has given me a new appreciation for the impact of little things. Whether it’s the way I get out of bed in the morning, the way I talk to myself when things aren’t going to plan, or adding some flowers to my workspace; the tiniest of behaviours can literally transform my mood.
I’ve started actively focusing on the little things I can do each day to promote a healthier mindset and really look after myself. Things I’ve found most helpful include waking up at the same time each day – yes, even at weekends – limiting time spent on social media, and making myself a cup of tea whenever I sit down to tackle a big piece of work. (OK, that last one’s been much less of a struggle!) Most importantly, however, is being less harsh with myself when I don’t quite keep these up – which is often. Setting small goals, that I can return to again and again, is helping me to look forward and make positive changes, one step at a time.
While no-one is sending lockdown a handwritten card to congratulate it on it’s birthday, I will absolutely be taking today as an excuse to dress up in something ridiculous, eat all the cake, and dance. Because, despite the losses we’ve faced this past year, we’ve got through it. And there are so many valuable lessons to take with us as we journey out of lockdown for *hopefully* the final time.
I really hope that you’re feeling OK today. Standing at this point, a year into the pandemic, is overwhelming. If this anniversary is doing nothing but fill you with dread, that’s OK too. Just remember, when you can, to look back and congratulate yourself on how far you’ve come.
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