TW: Discussion of sexual violence and violence against women and girls. Scroll to bottom of post for support services and resources.
Just over a week ago, it was International Women’s Day. Alongside the posts flooding social media on female empowerment and celebration, our screens were filled with the disappearance of Sarah Everard and discussions of female safety. Conversations I had with friends that day centred on remembering times we had ourselves been harassed in the street, followed, and in some cases, assaulted, by men. Over the following days, the hashtag #ChooseToChallenge became quickly overshadowed by the statistic from UN Women UK, that 97% of women aged 18-24 have experienced sexual harassment. A statistic that is at once terrifying, yet wholly unsurprising.
A week later, and with the vigil for Sarah on Saturday having itself been met with violence and aggression, I no longer know how to feel. The past week has been overwhelming; I’ve struggled to work, I’ve struggled to sleep, and I’ve struggled to think of much else. And almost every female friend I’ve spoken to feels the same. We are all too acutely aware that what happened to Sarah could so easily happen to us, too.
Having added my own thoughts to the discussion on social media, I attempted to stay away from Instagram for a couple of days. While the sheer number of posts circulating about women’s safety and the prevalence of harassment are vital for spreading awareness, for many women within the 97%, their inescapability has been deeply triggering. After all, we are not the intended audience for these posts – we’ve already lived them.
Something this wave in awareness has also highlighted is our lack of intersectionality when it comes to tackling violence against women and girls (VAWG). For example, where was this outpouring of action when Blessing Olusegun’s body was found last year? Why do we not know her name? While we fight for the end of VAWG, we have to acknowledge the increased risk and lower levels of support consistently faced by women of colour, LGBTQ+ women, and women from all other minoritised groups. For them, this moment is even more triggering and even more painful.
Every time I’ve talked to female friends over the past week, it’s been impossible to avoid the sense of anxiety and overwhelm. Most upsettingly, there’s a sheer lack of faith that any tangible response will emerge. We’ve been talking about our experiences of harassment for years – in many cases even reporting them – and every time we’ve been disbelieved or dismissed. The announcement of plans for plain clothes police officers to patrol nightclubs is so far off the mark it’s scary. Add to that the response to Sarah’s vigil, and the lack of exposure and support for minoritised women, it’s near-impossible not to feel hopeless.
Closer to home, I have seen some positive change, however; particularly, in conversations with male friends on the subject. Apologies for not understanding when I’ve expressed fear at walking alone in the past. Promises to be more supportive in future. Offering to listen if I ever want to talk. These responses are comforting, and suggest that some men are genuinely willing to open up the conversation. However, when it comes to maintaining momentum and pushing for actual change, we need real action from these same men who claim to support us; to persistently challenge the behaviour of your peers, check your own behaviour, and actively work to reduce the prevalent misogyny which ultimately incites VAWG.
For anyone feeling overwhelmed or triggered by all that’s been circulating on social media this week, know that you are not alone. We are all there with you. Feeling angry, anxious, and in many cases, unheard. Below, I’ve compiled a list of services and resources for anyone looking for support, or for someone to talk to confidentially. For any men unsure of what they can be doing to help, I’ve also listed some resources as places to start. Enough is enough; it’s time for us all to work together to end VAWG.
Places to find support:
Samaritans – You can call their confidential helpline 24/7 on 116 123 to speak to a trained volunteer.
Imkaan – Offer a list of specialist by and for BME support agencies around the UK here.
Victim Support – Offer support for victims of crime, whether or not it’s been reported, and however long ago it occurred. You can call the helpline 24/7 on 08 08 16 89 111 to speak to someone confidentially, or request support online.
Switchboard – LGBTQ+ helpline (01273 359042) open 7pm – 9:30pm Wednesday and Thursday. You can also email (info@switchboard.org.uk) or chat to someone via the website.
MindLine Trans+ – Support helpline (0300 330 5468) for anyone who identifies as Transgender, Agender, Gender Fluid or Non-binary. Open Monday and Friday, 8pm-12am.
Rape Crisis – Offer help for anyone who has experienced any kind of sexual violence. You can choose from different ways of accessing support here.
Resources for men:
How Can Men Support Women Against Misogyny And Violence? – The Independent
White Ribbon – Working with men to end violence against women and girls
Feature Image by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash
quarter-life-crisis.blog 
Leave a comment