Bad Days

We all know how it feels to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes, a shower, a hot mug of coffee and a 30-minute episode of trash TV are all that’s required to turn things around. And then, sometimes, it just doesn’t go away. Some days, you spend every hour feeling like you’re dragging yourself through mud, and Daniel Powter’s annoyingly catchy lyrics play on repeat in the back of your head. In short – you’ve had a bad day. (What a tune, though?)

Just last week, I found myself slap bang in the middle of one. As always seems to happen, it came after a string of really good days, where I’d been feeling more confident, more productive and generally much happier than usual. But clearly, the universe decided I was getting a little too ahead of myself and sent a curve ball.

I could tell as soon as I woke up – before I’d even chosen which side of the bed to clamber out of. A feeling of anxious lethargy hung over me like a fog. I felt deflated. Nevertheless, I started out defiantly positive, determined to push through and be productive. Workout done, breakfast eaten, and shower room steamed up to within an inch of its life; I still wound up sat at my desk an hour and a half later feeling, well, crap.

Having experienced and dealt with depression since I was a child, I’ve had days like this many times. And if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that you just can’t fight them. Now, that’s not to say give up and go back to bed. That’s not likely to make you feel any better. But accepting the way you’re feeling, rather than constantly pushing against it and getting frustrated with yourself, is the only way forward.

Once you’ve accepted those feelings, you can start treating yourself with care. Set smaller goals and tasks for the day which are more likely to keep you on track, give yourself more frequent breaks to prevent burnout, and make extra time for things you know help – for me, these usually include yoga, walking and having a good chat with a friend. Treat yourself, essentially, as if you were having any other off-day; because of a cold, perhaps, or a stomach bug. That is: with kindness, gentleness and patience.

Most friends that I’ve spoken to over the past couple of months report experiencing a similar thing more regularly during lockdown. Weeks will pass when they’re feeling fairly on top of things – positive, even – and dealing with pandemic restrictions pretty well. And then, all of a sudden, there’ll be a day or two when it all seems to come crashing in.

We’d be having these days normally, of course; they’re a natural part of life. But lockdown takes them and raises them tenfold. Now, not only are we having a ‘bad day’, we’re having one in the middle of a global emergency which prevents us from leaving our immediate surroundings or seeing our closest friends. It’s like feeling unwell and then realising that you’re on a desert island, cut off from your usual comforts and cupboard full of PG Tips.

So, if you’ve been having a few bad days, you’re not alone. If these are happening regularly and you feel like you’re starting to struggle, then don’t be afraid to ask for help. Support is available via charities including Mind, Samaritans and Oxford Mental Health Network. To speak to someone confidentially, day or night, you can call Samaritans on 116 123. Reaching out can be hard, but it’s so important.

Most of all, accept how you’re feeling and treat yourself with kindness. Next time you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, greet it as a sign that it’s time to tend to yourself and an opportunity to practice some self-care. And don’t forget: you’re doing just fine.

Feature Image by Matthew Henry on Unsplash