I’ve always loved New Year. After the chocolate-fuelled limbo of the week following Christmas, a fresh start full of resolutions and motivation (no matter how likely they are to fail) is so attractive. Inevitably, the first month of the new year never quite lives up to our imagination. However, just a few days into 2021 I’ve realised that this January will be a different beast altogether.
There’s no back-to-work in the usual sense, no calendar of events, no gym to promise ourselves we’ll attend. Instead, we’re spending the New Year in the same place we spent Christmas, in the same place we spent the majority of last year, in fact: Home. Having whiled away the festive period here, rolling periodically from one sofa to the next, I’m now tasked with emerging from my festive cocoon a productive new year butterfly, without the ability to actually fly, well, anywhere. We’re stuck (again) in the same four walls for the foreseeable. Suddenly, changing our routine feels like an even greater challenge when we can no longer change our environment.
The room that was, just a couple of weeks ago, set up for eating our bodyweight in Christmas food, has now become a makeshift office. I’m sharing the space with my sister, who is having to complete university coursework from home. While Sunday evening was spent in optimistic preparation – drawing up a timetable and setting goals for the week – when Monday morning arrived and we sat around the dining room table, coffee mugs close at hand, it was a struggle.
My first mistake was expecting to jump out of bed to the alarm. Having not set one for a couple of weeks, it took me a while to even recognise what it was. When eventually I did, the snooze button felt the full force of my disgust. The January weather outside meant it may as well have been the dead of night. This was going to be harder than I’d thought.
Trying to focus on work, it turns out, is a lot more difficult when the lure of the sofa at which you’ve spent the past couple of weeks stationed keeps calling from the next room. I was desperate for a way to create a more work-inducive atmosphere. ‘Ambient Café Sounds’ had popped up on my suggested YouTube a few weeks back, promising to bring the café atmosphere to my living room. Sounded perfect. So, I turned on the TV and started searching. Turned out, there were hundreds of different ambience videos to choose from. Different cafés, varying weather, day or night… Having successfully procrastinated 20 minutes away choosing the perfect video, I eventually sat back down to work.
As I’ve already mentioned though, I’m not the only one working from this home. And, unfortunately, it seems my sister and I have different working styles. While I can happily type away to the gentle acoustic of the fake café – where, in normal times, I do my best work – she, it turns out, needs silence. So, off the video went.
Having worked for what felt like the entire morning, I decided it was time to make a cup of tea. 9:42. The computer clock glared back at me. In reality, I’d apparently been working for just under half an hour (minus the time spent searching YouTube). I made the tea anyway, wilfully avoiding the leftover Christmas chocolates that beckoned from the worktop, and taking a packet of biscuits instead…
Back in the *office*, my sister reminded me of the workout programme we’d agreed to start later. The thought of this was too much. I was hit by an overwhelming urge to crawl back upstairs, draw the curtains and clamber back into bed. I’d simply try again tomorrow. But as I sat and began procrastinating my way through Instagram, I began to feel better. Post after post resonated with the exact way I was feeling. The general advice? Do it gradually.
So, I’ve resolved to be kinder to myself, to forgive myself for not instantly springing into new year shape and to celebrate even the smallest achievements to help motivate me. I want to get into a routine, but I won’t bully myself into one. I’ve decided to be more flexible with my schedule and to actively plan fun things for each evening (albeit lockdown fun). So far this week, it’s not got any easier to get up early and get working. But I’ve stopped punishing myself for every little slip and feel much more motivated to keep going, gradually, until I get there.
Featured Photo by Aleks Marinkovic on Unsplash.
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